knotty like an old tree's roots

namaste from a new window in time

thangka painting temporarily suspended

 these hands that so love the poised grace of holding the brush, the still moments of communion with blissful, ethereal buddhas and bodhisattvas, now find themselves daily immersed in  wet soil, prickly bushes, sticky manure, ice-cold springs, warm fluffy furs

helping out on a farm, caring for land and animals, is a time of increased physical energy, of intensive interactions, of again and again trying to get beyond self-righteous yet too rigid notions of right and wrong, to arrive at where everything is just as it is

the place where abandoning my own will for a few precious moments, i can allow myself just to be guided by nature

doing my best, out of a natural inner movement towards caring, to at least not cause or increase the sufferings of others, humans or animals, while often bearing witness to the fact that what already exists cannot be stopped
yet in the dark cave where pain and sorrow burn fiercest, alights - softer than a breeze - a traceless sudden knowing, an embrace of grace and wholeness, coming from a much wider perspective

so while my hands are starting to  look like the knotty roots of an old tree, i choose to believe they are not unlearning the precise, concentrated dance of colour on canvas, but trust that this experience is silently working its way through me to perhaps resurface - in time -  even in a thangka? from where I stand now, I feel thousandfold arms reaching out in compassion ...

march update: slower pace, but happily painting again